The windshield was oily, making it difficult to see out through the night as I sped through the Canadian countryside. The rhythmic sound of the wiper coupled with the car stereo going at full blast formed an eclectic melody. “Whish Whash Boom!” I had driven 533 miles over 9 hours just to witness the wedding of a dear friend, a good man, Sebastian. To grasp the significance of this, you must consider that I didn’t make the paltry 13 mile trip the last time Sebastian was getting married. At that time, I had advised Sebastian not to marry the person he was considering. He didn’t listen. He applied the weight of international missions to that marriage, and it collapsed within a year. Believers withdrew their missionary funding in droves. But that was then. Sebastian was now being surrounded by a vast community of Asian believers. This time around, he got it right.
The Time Tested Principle
Why had I advised Sebastian not to marry his previous spouse? The answer is based on a simple principle I’m about to give you: “Don’t buy potential”. I learned this the hard way when my University track coach Fangman, refused to give me a scholarship, saying “Uche, I don’t buy potential”. What he meant was that he wasn’t going to compensate me for results I was yet to achieve. I had to be before I got. He was a wise man. Sebastian had to marry for what she is and not for what she could be. At the end of the day, we can’t change people, only the Holy Spirit can. If He was smoking when you met him, why are you angry now, 5 years later, that he has yet to quit smoking? If she didn’t go to Church when you met her, why does it now upset you that she does not want to go to with you to the Pastor for Counseling?
If You See That Wild Stare
An apprentice once asked a master cattle rearer, why he didn’t buy a certain plump cow. The wise master said he didn’t care about how it looked physically, but cared how it behaved. “If you see that wild stare in its eyes, he said, don’t you dare buy them boy”. “They won’t be great parents to their calf. They won’t be loyal”, he continued. I believe the same advice applies in choosing a spouse, an opportunity, a business partner even. “If you see that wild stare, better don’t buy”. If the person you choose as a spouse improves over the years, you will take that, but if they remain the way they are, then you are content. If you are married stay married. If you are not, then for goodness sakes, don’t buy potential, buy as is.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? – 2 Corinthians 6:14
I have great news! Remember from my last e-mail, I needed money to pay for my English proficiency test? Well a few weeks after, my test was waived and my application completed. 3 days ago, I received an acceptance letter from the University of San Francisco – Zandile Mkhize